You know youve been in Finland too long, when...
- You rummage through your plastic bag collection to see which ones you should keep to
take to the store and which can be sacrificed to garbage.
- It's acceptable to eat lunch at 11.00.
- Your front door step is beginning to resemble a shoe shop.
- You think it's normal that 22 year olds need fake ID
- When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that:
a. he is drunk
b. he is insane
c. he is American
d. he is all of the above
- You don't think twice about putting the wet dishes away in the cupboard to dry.
- A friend asks about your holiday plans and you answer "Oh, I'm going to
Europe!" meaning any other Western European country outside Scandinavia.
- You no longer scrunch up or fold your paper money. You always put your money in your
- Silence is fun.
- The reason you take the ferry to Stockholm is:
a. duty free vodka
b. duty free beer
c. to party...no need to get off the boat in Stockholm;
just turn around and do it again on the way back.
d. all of the above
- Your coffee consumption exceeds 6 cups a day and coffee is too weak if there is less
than 10 scoops per pot.
- You pass a grocery store and think "Wow, it is open, I had better go in an buy
- Your native language has seriously deteriorated; you begin to "eat medicine",
"open the television", "close the lights off", and tell someone
"you needn't to!" Expressions like "Don't panic" creep into your
- You associate pea soup with Thursday.
- Your idea of unforgivable behaviour now includes walking across the street when the
light is red and there is no WALK symbol, even though there are no cars in sight.
- Your notion of streetlife is reduced to the few teenagers hanging out in front of
Helsinki railway station on Friday nights.
- Your bad mood becomes your good mood.
- Sundays no longer seem dull with all the stores closed, and begin to feel restful
- "No comment" becomes a conversation strategy.
- You finally stop asking your class "Are there any questions?"
- The fact that all of the "v's" and the "w's" are together in the
phone directory seems right.
- Your old habit of being "fashionably late" is no longer acceptable. You are
always on time.
- Hugging is reserved for sexual foreplay.
- You begin to understand Jussi Jyylanpaarvi's broadcast of the hockey game.
- You refuse to wear a hat, even in -30 degree weather.
- You hear loud-talking passengers on the train. You immediately assume:
a. they are drunk
b. they are Swedish-speaking
c. they are American.
- You give up on trying to find fat-free food and pile on the butter, cream and sugar.
- You know how to fix herring in 105 different ways.
- You eat herring in 105 ways.
- You no longer look at sports pants as casual wear, but recognise them as semi-formal
- You can now reconstruct the missing letters on a building. For example
- You have undergone a transformation:
a. you accept mustamakkara (Black-blood sausage) as food
b. you accept alcohol as food
c. you accept.
- You understand why the Finnish language has no future tense.
- You no longer have to search for the flushing mechanism on the toilet.
- You no longer see any problem wearing white socks with loafers.
- You no longer correct people who say MAC Donald's.
- You just love Jaffa.
- You've come to expect Sunday morning sidewalk vomit dodging.
- You know that "I got a new boyfriend." means "I got laid last
- The next day when they say "We broke up." you know it means " He didn't
- You know that "religious holiday" means "let's get pissed."
- You enjoy salmiakki.
- You know that "mens public bathroom" is another phrase for sidewalk.
- You know that more than three channels means cable.
- You get all the Swedish jokes.
- When you're hungry you can peel a boiled potato like lightning.
- You've become lactose intolerant.
- You accept that 80 degrees C in a sauna is chilly, but 20 degrees C outside is freaking
- You don't think twice about wearing sandals indoors and Wellington's outside.
- You stand in a bus if you can't find a vacant pair of seats.
- Finland winning a medal at the world hockey championships is less important than beating
- You pass the point of spending more than 50% of your salary on phone calls and alcohol.
- The only couple talking in a tram or a bus always seems to annoy you.
- You refuse to cross a totally empty street until there is a green light.
- You are immediately suspicious when somebody starts talking to you in the street.
- You no longer have a problem accepting money from someone bumming a cigarette.
- You seriously consider visiting the sauna more than three times a week.
- You're training for Vasaloppet.
- YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE LIVE ANYWHERE BUT IN FINLAND!!!!
You know you've been in Sweden too long, when...